Old and new
by elementknight
Summary: We visit the past and the possible future of Lon Suder, the only Betazoid on Voyager, and the only who cannot seem to read emotions. AU/ no pairings/ no described violence/ maybe strong for some people and then again, it's just crack.


**Lon Suder**

He was born in Betazed, like all else Betazoids. Of course, _something_ had gone wrong or he wouldn't be the way he was. His dad was a renowned alcoholic and his unknown mother a presumable whore. He used to get beaten… a lot. By his dad, his _friends_ at school and even some enemies of his father that claimed he deserved it. He heard people say that he was a disgrace, a failure and was to keep away from their offsprings.

Eventually, when he was six years old, there was an accident. His father came home more than drunk, completely smashed. When he saw that his son was still up and running, he grabbed his son in a rage attack and threw him against the wall. The next thing the little one remembered was waking up in a hospital and hearing the doctors say the impact had taken away his empathy and telepathy.

After that, he was taken from his father. He wouldn't speak with anyone for whole years because of the trauma. They put him in a mental institution, where he underwent several forms of therapies. He met another little boy there. His name was Tim and he was half-Betazoid. He had attacked his baby brother and was imprisoned, but his mother pleaded that he be spared of a life in prison. He was sent to that institution until he completed sixteen. It was he that tampered with the non-empath's mind. He had enjoyed seeing him squirm under the torrent of images and feelings he sent him telepathically. He instructed him and told him how to evade them both.

When they were out, the child turned to his companion and rammed a rock to his head. The first words he spoke in several years were: "Take that, you bastard". These words were accompanied by a sadistic smile as he watched the blood ooze out from the unconscious teen's wound.

He lived the next years in the streets, defending his territory with violence and doing whatever he could to survive. This life lasted until the Federation signed the peace treaty with the Cardassians and he heard about the Maquis. Years on the streets had hardened him and he had turned cold and distant. He saw no more pity in people's eyes but fear and apprehension. He was nineteen at the time.

He seeked out a Maquis post and enlisted himself, to end up with Chakotay and his crew. His first battle quickly ensued. Some Cardassians attacked their camp site. He was the first to see them. On impulse, three of them were already lying dead on the floor before he woke up the others. Shortly after, the Cardassians started retreating. Some of the youngest stayed behind but quickly backed up as well. Again on impulse, he launched himself forward to kill a teen that was retreating, when he felt something restraining him from behind. He turned around and pointed his phaser, but stopped in time to see Chakotay and Tuvok holding his other arm. He noticed the fear in the first's eyes and repressed the instinct that urged him to kill the Indian. He sneered at the retreating alien and freed his arm from his companions' grip.

That evening, Chakotay had suggested he talked to him. The suggestion was mandatory. He had asked the Betazoid why he had tried to kill a retreating soldier. He reacted on impulse. Chakotay eyed him seriously, while he cooled down from his quick outburst. Suddenly, he realized what had he done. Speaking like that to a superior officer was not… recommendable. He quickly excused himself and left the Commander standing there, going for a stroll along the forest border. He chastised himself for not keeping control, but felt his anger flare again when he saw the other Maquis eyeing him. He tried counting to ten, but had to shoot a nearby tree to keep him from doing any harm to the others (not that he would regret it). He kept to himself until Darwin had to look at him that way.

And now, here he was, looking intensely at his orchid, locked away in his quarters. Tuvok had just left for an away mission. He missed him, more than he could possibly imagine. The Vulcan's calm was enough to soothe his nature and his presence brought an inexplicable sense of peace to Lon Suder. The Betazoid had been edgy the last few days and longed for an explanation. Tuvok had told him that Kes was having some problems, and that was it. Lon couldn't think how Kes' problems were affecting him, but he didn't argue.

Suddenly, the ship was rocked back and forth. He supported himself and looked outside. The guards were lying on the floor, apparently unconscious. A wave of turbulence hit again and Lon was thrown off his feet. The last thing he remembered was hearing Kes' voice soothing him: "_My gift to you_".

He awoke in sickbay, the Doctor looking over him cynically:

- Ahhh…. Sleeping Beauty awakes. I was starting to wonder where I could find a prince in this quadrant.

- What… happened? – Suder asked quietly. Something wasn't right.

- You were knocked unconscious when Kes left. –A familiar Vulcan voice answered

- Tuvok…? Why…How did Kes leave?

-That is none of importance right now, -the Doctor intervened- tell me, , what do you feel?

- What... do I feel?

-Yes.

-Something is out of place…

-… finally _on_ its place, you mean. – The Doctor ran a tricorder over his head- Were you aware of what blocked your powers, ?

-Please try to recall, it is important. - Urged Tuvok, getting closer to his bio-bed.

- I... don't… - In an instant, everything came back to him, his father, the accident… -Yes I remember now. I was… six years old. – he concentrated even more- My father had come home after one of his drinking rounds, and… he grabbed me and threw me against the wall… When I woke up, I heard the doctors say…

-… that you're powers were blocked by the contusion.- finished the Doctor.

-Exactly.

,-began Tuvok- when Kes left the ship, she sent a wave that pushed Voyager forward. –Lon nodded- Let's say that it was not the only thing she did. Members of this crew have reported positive anomalies among them.

-What?

-For example, Naomi Wildman had a fever that was cured, with no apparent reason and several other cases of the like. In your case…

- I have erected a telepathical force field around sickbay so that the emotional shock wouldn't be too great.-interrupted the Doctor. - You would probably go insane –koff, koff- with the onslaught of sensations.

The doors of sickbay opened in that instant. Captain Janeway stepped in, leaving a security officer outside. Lon almost immediately feel what she was feeling: uneasiness, worry… He guessed the latter was for Cmdr. Tuvok. _So this is what normal Betazoids feel._ He thought, amazed. But as soon as he overcame the shock, he started feeling other things: joy, anger, disorientation, pain, nuisance, sadness… A monitor started beeping on his side while he gasped his head:

-The force field is malfunctioning!-The Doctor yelled- I can't keep him stable!

He felt more emotions from all around the ship: despair, frustration, confusion, pain, pain, PAIN!... _Stop it… please, stop it…_ uneasiness, worry, joy, anger, disorientation, pain, nuisance, sadness, joy, anger, disorientation, pain, nuisance, sadness, joy, anger, disorientation, grief, pain, nuisance, sadness, joy, anger, disorientation, pain, nuisance, sadness, joy, anger, disorientation, frustration , pain, nuisance, sadness, worry, joy, anger, disorientation, pain, nuisance, sadness, joy, anger, disorientation, pain, nuisance, sadness, joy, anger, disorientation, pain, nuisance, sadness…

Tuvok's hand was on his shoulder, then on his face…

Everything went dark…

_He was standing in oblivion… Memories of his childhood passed by him. He screamed for it to STOP. It didn't. Suddenly, a presence was felt. He felt it send of waves of cool calm, extinguishing the burning flames of others emotions. He was aware of Tuvok's presence in the back of his mind, telling him to concentrate…_

_ See the white light that is your breath…_

Before even opening his eyes, he could tell he was in sickbay. That _smell_. Clean, desinfectated… huh. If there were some places in situation Lon Suder would NOT want to wake up to ever again they were in the hospital, to his dad shaking him, in sickbay, or under attack by the Cardassians. Definitely. Or having someone scanning him with a tricorder the moment he opened his eyes:

-Hey Tuvok?

-Yes .

-Remember that time when I told you that I could see violence without getting too close to it?

-I do.

-It doesn't work with headaches.

**Hey guys! This is my 2 day story. I like Suder, and I didn't want to see him die, so I took the liberty of creating this little AU. If I get positive reviews, I might do a sequel ^_^.**

**Hope you enjoy it! (Beam my story to Fanfiction, Scottie!)**


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